Of course, by now you all know I am a think tank—perhaps even more so lately, as my universe continues to shake with all kinds of quakes. I’ve been thinking about how often I’ve said “It’s OK” to people and situations that were anything but.
I’m not OK with that anymore.
I don’t use this phrase lightly now. And when something isn’t OK, I don’t pretend that it is.
For far too long, people I loved and cared for—colleagues I meant well for, friends I believed were closest to me—said and did things, and all I ever offered was “It’s OK.” Maybe I wanted them to stay longer. Maybe I wanted peace, calm, less stress for them. But in soothing everyone else, I took the beating.
I became someone who, on the surface, seemed OK with everything—someone who never put herself first.
I compromised, and looking at where I am today, I know it wasn’t always the right thing to do. Every individual is accountable in a relationship, whatever form that relationship takes. Repeatedly hurting someone is not OK. Being polite when it’s killing you inside is not OK.
I wish I had known this earlier. I wish I had known it better.
I wasn’t there for my younger self the way I should have been—the way I was there for others, many of whom took the easy way out when it came time to be there for me.
So from here on, we don’t say “It’s OK” when it actually isn’t.
